Sunday, July 19, 2015

This is the Man She Married

It started with a whisper. A faintly spoken word. A gentle nudging.

"This is the man you will marry".

Two strangers sat in the corner of the Mountain Room Restaurant. An intimate table for two. I'm sure some strings were pulled to get the table with the absolute best view of Yosemite Falls.

As they sat and talked, he quietly folded the napkin into a rose and gave it to her. She reached across the table and they prayed, holding hands.

And that's when she heard it. Barely audible, yet with such resonance in her heart. "This is the man you will marry".

One year later, as she prepared for bed, she received another sign. This time, she was sure it was visible to everyone around. She shook her head and sat straight up. No gently nudging this time around. Loud and clear. "This is the man you will marry".

Unbeknownst to her, earlier that day, he had asked her father for her hand in marriage. I guess you could say, the rest is history.

But, history is his story and it must be told.

She has heard whispers since then. Nudgings. She has been faithful to them, knowing that God speaks to her in a still, small voice.

And that's exactly how they ended up here. A nudging.

The past year has been a year of pain for him. Migraines kept him down, asleep, in the dark, in a funk. She has been strong, maybe too strong for some. Her hard exterior only served to protect her heart, which was daily breaking.

It didn't seem possible the migraines could get worse, but they did. To the point he was nauseous daily. He tried to function but struggled to just maintain. Until.....Until, she felt the nudging.

It promised to be another beautiful summer day. Their boys were full of energy and running jumping around, but she.....she felt "somehow". Normally a strong person, she vowed to just work through it. Push past the.... what is that feeling?

She went to work but felt drained. Achy. Chilled. Recipe for flu, one would think. Her co-workers sent her home with well-wishes. One wonders, did they feel a nudging too.

She was scheduled to work all day, and all night. She had an important meeting that night and probably would not return home until 8 or 9 o'clock. But, now, she couldn't. She didn't feel right.

She went home and found him. Found him very sick. She cancelled her meeting. She needed to be home. But why????

Because he needed her. He started losing consciousness and fell, multiple times. She was there to pick him up and dry him off. She was there to hold onto his arm while he slept so he didn't fall out of bed, again.

She was there.....and not at work.....nor at the meeting.  Because she was sick, herself? Amazingly, her symptoms went away when she got home. So, why was she home?

Imagine the alternative. Imagine if she had stayed at work and gone on to the meeting. Imagine if he still lost consciousness and fell repeatedly. Imagine their boys finding their daddy, slumped in the shower.

But, that's not his story.

She debated back and forth, whether to take him to the walk-in clinic or to the emergency room. And then she heard it. Nothing gentle about the loud thud from the bedroom. She found him on the floor, confused.

She woke their boys to assist in getting him dressed and safely into the car. Her only thoughts were of  his kidney. His one good kidney. The amazing gift of a friend 3 years ago. What treasure lies behind that scar. Lord, please save the kidney.

Blood draws and vital checks are the norm but her mention of his repeated falls prompted the ER team to do a CT Scan. And that's when they found it. A mass. His blood draws came back and they weren't good either. His kidney function had dropped from 65% a month ago to 27%. Lord, please save the kidney.

The local hospital is good and the staff is top-notch, but they don't specialize in transplant patients and this was proving to be a complicated case.

They ordered the helicopter and Mayo agreed to take him. Again. The same hospital that took him into their loving arms 3 years ago (almost to the day). They told her she would have to drive and meet him there. But... driving would take an additional 3 hours. He was so disoriented, he didn't know the year, the president, his height.....how could he possibly answer life-saving questions in this state?

She nudged this time. She refused to drive and asked to fly with him. She would advocate and fight on his behalf. After all, this is the man she married.

The first thoughts were that he was losing the kidney, either through rejection or infection. His numbers had dropped dramatically in the past month.

As they slid him into the helicopter, the hospital handed a large envelope to the flight nurse. All his records and a CD of his CT Scan were in the envelope. Upon landing, the flight nurse handed it to the admitting team.

CT Scans are good for detecting but not so good with identifying. They ordered an MRI immediately.  They had to install a "brain drain" to remove the excess fluid on his brain. The fluid had been creating pressure, which is not good. The doctor said if it had continued for about one more week, it would have been fatal.

Now that the migraines have ceased, the doctors turned their focus back to the kidney. They see three possibilities (but there is always the unknown as well).

  1. Rejection. Not good but not horrible. The doctors could take steps to stop it. The thought is that this is a possibility because he has been vomiting so much for the last month that he might have vomited his anti-rejection pills and his body started to reject the kidney.  
  2. Infection. Also not good but could be treated and dealt with. This prompts more questions, such as how did he get an infection, how to prevent in the future? 
  3. His genetic kidney disease is attacking the kidney. This is pretty much the worse scenario. We knew going into the transplant 3 years ago there was a 40% chance of that happening. He has a genetic condition that does strange things to his kidneys and blocks them from absorbing any protein. He passes a lot of protein through his urine. How much protein? Normal protein levels for a healthy individual are about 30 units. His levels on Friday were 10,000 units. If you know him, you know that he has never been a big guy and can not for the life of him "bulk" up. 
So, we sit and wait. His biopsy results will start to come in today. They will know today if it was rejection. The other two take a little longer. 

As we wait, the two celebrate their wedding vows. Remember, this is the man she married. And the two have become one.
For those who have joined our journey in the last three years, you can read our story here:

T-13: It take a Village

where Glory meets my suffering